I am one of those people that just never finds a place to fit in. I am not saying this in a whiney, poor, pitiful me way. By now I have learned to accept and embrace my oddness.
As a child, I loved to read, and would rather play by myself than with others. I had more imaginary friends than real ones. I always had just one close friend at a time. While my brother and sister were playing together, I was off somewhere alone either reading or in my own pretend world.
In middle school, I was actually a part of the "popular" group for awhile. But I noticed they had this knack of talking bad about other people in the group when they were not around, and it made me wonder what they were saying about me when I was not there. So I decided I didn't want to be a part of that, and left and joined my own odd group of people.
In high school, I preferred the company of guys because they told it like it was and weren't two-faced. So most all of my friends were males. Which of course earned me some not so nice nicknames, because if I was hanging around boys then I must be sleeping with them, right? Which was not the case. But everyone liked to run their mouths and make assumptions. So I let them. My senior year, I was working all the time and was no longer a part of band. I also got pregnant that year, so you really find out who your friends are then. Out of everyone, only a few awesome girls stuck by me, but surprisingly most all of my guy friends did. That was pretty amazing.
In college, I was a new mother and wife. I didn't have many friends because I couldn't go out and party on a whim. My family and grades came first. So I felt a little lonely at times. More often than not, Emma and I were home alone. My baby was my best friend at the time. I talked to her like she was an adult and carried on conversations with her. Which benefitted us both. She was talking in complete sentences at eighteen months, and I had my little buddy with me always. She still seems wise beyond her years to this day. She is a GT student and is so quick witted, I can't pull anything with her.
Even now, I still find it hard to fit in. I am not a Republican, nor am I a Democrat. I never agree with how the majority thinks. I can't be a part of a group of women, because I can't stand how two-faced most women still are, and how they use every chance to gossip and talk about others just because they have a different opinion. I have my few close girlfriends, and I will keep it at that. Less drama that way. I still have guy friends though, so people will still talk, but as long as my husband knows and is okay with it, then no one else should have a problem. But I do know one thing for sure, I am a great mother, and maybe that is my place in life. And you know what? I am okay with that. :-)
