There are so many directions my life can go right now. But for some reason I am at a stand still. If I follow my heart, I am probably going to upset a lot of people. If I do what everyone else wants me to do, I am not sure I will ever be truly happy. I will fake it of course, because I am good at that. Apparently, since no one ever knew what went on in my life before the end of last year so it all came as a big surprise. No one ever bothered to ask if I was happy, so I convinced myself I was fine and it was life. It just really drives me crazy when everyone tries to push you into what they want or think is right for you. Maybe sometime ask me how I am feeling or what I want.
Recently, I have been trying to get some things moving in my life. But I didn't get the job that I so really wanted. It would be nice to be independent. To be making my own money. To not feel like I am not contributing and like I am using everyone else's money. Plus the hours would have been during school hours so I could be home with the kids afterwards. But I guess it wasn't in the cards. So for now I will stay home with Livi until she can start preschool next year. Not that I am complaining about it, because I know so many women would love to trade places with me. I will enjoy every minute of it, because she has almost made that transition from baby to kid. I hate how you can see the baby years winding down. They fly by so fast. One day you wake up, and it is like they grew up overnight.
I have decided I have to do something to get myself out of this rut, so I have decided to finally take some more of my prerequisites for RN school. I only have two left! Yay! Then next year I can apply for RN school. I can't sit around and wait for this to happen, because something will always come up. Lack of money, lack of time. No motivation. Something. So I decided to start selling Scentsy to help earn money for college. If you can buy from me and help me out, it would be greatly appreciated. My website is http://amberrenay.scentsy.us/
I am going to make my dreams happen. I don't care what it takes. I miss being a nurse. I miss helping other people. I miss my independence. Whatever else happens in my life, my career is the one thing I can do for myself. And maybe one of these days I can do what I want to do to make ME happy for a change.
