I Am Cheap

     That's right. I am cheap and proud of it. But I like to call it being frugal or smart shopping. I used to be addicted to shopping. But when we went down to one income, I learned a lot of interesting tricks. Now I get a thrill out of saving money. And we still manage to live like we have two incomes, but without the extra costs. Here are some tricks I have learned over the last two years.
     There is no reason to ever pay retail price. If you shop online, most of the time they will offer free shipping on certain days anyways, and I always find a coupon code to save extra money on clearance items. I can get the kids' entire wardrobes for a fraction of the cost. Or I find a friend with a child a size bigger than one of mine, and one a size smaller than another of mine, and we exchange our kids' clothing! I still have satellite television, but I never pay more than $25 a month for it, and I still get the good channels, and movie channels for months at a time. I learned they always have hidden deals, and if you call every couple of months, they will give them to you to keep you a happy customer.
     I have learned that Great Value products are way cheaper than name brand products, and usually they are the same product under a different name, or they are better. Go ahead, try them sometime. I also signed up for survey and product testing companies. Now I get sent full sized products, like diapers, tooth paste, food products, baby lotion, shampoo, body wash, moisturizers to test out. They are always a name brand, and I don't have to buy these products as often anymore. Right now I am testing out Ragu pasta sauce, Charmin toilet paper, Crest tooth paste, Olay body wash, and Neutrogena moisturizer. Bonus, I get paid to try them!
     If I am going on vacation, I will book online to get extra discounts, coupon codes, and find the cheapest hotel with the best reviews. We are planning on going to San Antonio for a couple of days on the kids' Spring Break, and I won't spend more than $300 on the room and activities we have planned to do. I don't go get a manicure or a pedicure, I can do my own and keep the nail polish bottle, and chances are mine will look just as good anyways. And I still get the foot rub that goes along with it. Score!
     If you eat out a lot, sign up for emails from the restaurants. We always have a coupon for a free appetizer or dessert or free kids meals. Or a 2 for 1 meal. So we still feel like we can indulge on a strict budget. If my children get a gift they already had for Christmas or a birthday. I keep them in the box, and the next birthday party I go to with a child the same age, I don't have to go shopping for a gift. I also keep all my kids' party bags and tissue paper, and I never have to shop for those items, ever.
     I never pay more than $20 for jeans for me. At JC Penney they have really cute jeans with excellent stitching that makes them look like the expensive jeans, but for way less. I also will only buy my shirts on clearance in the off season. I recently went to Old Navy and got myself 5 shirts for less than $10.
     So yes, I may be cheap, but I love it and couldn't imagine ever paying full price for anything, even if I won the lottery. Food tastes better when it is free anyways.
   
   

Moving On

     Easier said than done. I knew one day I would have to. I know that I can only try so hard to make things that will never work, work. It's just so hard to let go of the things you had imagined. The things you wanted. The what ifs. It is hard to think of the fact that we could be much better people with other people. Even now, I have a bad habit of pushing people away that are genuinely amazing people, because I feel like I don't deserve that. At the moment, it feels wrong to feel happy. Like I am doing something I shouldn't be if I laugh or even smile.
     Believe it or not, I am genuinely happy at the thought of him being happy with someone else and moving on. He is a great guy, and a fantastic daddy. But for some reason, I was just never right for him. I should have known that from the start. But I have a knack for trying to finish what I started. I am a perfectionist, and I do not like the feeling of failure. In my heart, I know I tried my hardest, and that is what should matter. But to me, I still feel like I failed. I'm not good with endings, that is why I still have the friends I was close to, even in elementary school. Heck I am even still friends with most of my exes, so you can see I have a hard time letting go.
      But it is time. We have both felt this way for the better of two years now. It is time to stop hanging on to something that will never exist. I need to stop pushing people away, and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. It is time to suck it up, and move on.