The Afterlife

     Lately I have been thinking a lot about the afterlife. Where we go from here. I know without a doubt this is not the only life we live. This life leads to something much bigger. I do believe that who you are and what kind of person while you are here determines where you go from here.
     I have almost died a few times in my life. Not many people know this, but I almost died after the birth of my first child. I hemorrhaged shortly after she was born. I am talking waterfalls of blood. I felt myself slipping away in those moments. At first there was a panic. And then all the sudden it was just calm. Nothing mattered. Then, I was above myself looking down. I didn't recognize the person lying there as myself. I mean, I knew it was me, but it wasn't me anymore. Believe it if you want, but you don't have to. Jared witnessed this firsthand, and saw the life leave my body. Luckily, I was brought back. In those moments though, my life didn't pass before my eyes, and I didn't see a bright light. I just hovered there for a moment, and then I was back.
     As a nurse, I have had the privilege of witnessing some of the most intimate, private, helpless moments in a person's life. I have been there for numerous deaths. I have held their hands as people have left this world. That is an amazing moment. Right before they die, a person gets this lucid burst of energy, but only for a moment, and then they are gone. Their body an empty soulless shell. The person they once were is gone. I have had them tell me they see someone waiting for them. Witnessing this has had a big impact on my life.
     There is something more than this life. I do believe in a higher power. In those moments, you just feel there is something more and it gives you hope. Something to believe in. That we are not merely here for the short time we are. There is something bigger and better waiting in the end. This gives me the faith that when we lose someone we love, it is not the end. But just the start of a waiting period before we will see them again. This comforts me on the days like today, when the pain of missing someone I love is almost unbearable. It is only for now. Just a moment in time. Before forever.